Raising Them While Healing Me

A pure childhood should be admired, loved, and cherished. Many people reflect on their childhoods and wish they had better memories or more time to be a child. As parents, these reflections can lead to stress and self-doubt about whether we will be good enough for our children, and whether they will accept, love, and respect us. As a mother of two young children, I have faced these difficult feelings, as I am sure many others have. It is common to question ourselves about house rules, boundaries, discipline, and whether we are doing too much or too little.

As I grow alongside my children, I have learned that I must address my own triggers first. My trauma is not something my children should have to bear or be responsible for. Although motherhood can be stressful, it is important to remember that our past does not define our ability to be good parents. Children do not need perfect parents; they need present ones. Most children are not concerned with bills, chores, or jobs. They simply want a parent to hug them, play with them, or spend time reading a bedtime story. These small moments are what make childhood special. You are a capable and loving parent. Break the cycle, and do not let negative thoughts about your own upbringing overshadow your ability to provide a nurturing environment.

The pressures placed on mothers can be overwhelming. Society often expects mothers to respond in specific ways, manage a household, maintain a career, and care for themselves and their families. This is a significant burden. However, expressing love and affection to your children each day can have a lasting impact. When they grow older, they will remember your kindness and presence, not material things. Focus on what truly matters, and be gentle with yourself. While trauma can affect us mentally and emotionally, it does not prevent change. You are worthy of growth and happiness.